Before I even start, I need to preface this post by saying that I haven’t had a real period in over two years now. I’m on the pill, so my ‘periods’ are withdrawal bleeds or fake periods (I have a post on this if you missed it).
Also, I need to acknowledge that my stance in this post comes from a place of privilege. I am privileged to be able to make my period manageable, I have access to menstrual products, pain medication and birth control. I am also privileged to be able to afford reusable period products and I recognise that not everyone has access to any or all of these things.
With all of that that said, on with the post…
Now, I know what you’re thinking – either I’ve really lost the plot or this whole ‘is it endo or is it not endo’ thing was some kind of elaborate scam.
And the answer is mostly neither, I’ve almost certainly lost the plot but that’s a separate issue.
But, because of whatever is wrong with my body (and being on the pill), my period is actually one of the least painful parts of my cycle.
Even before all of this became an issue, living with my period actually helped me overcome so many insecurities of mine around my body.
I definitely look back on it with rose-tinted glassed, my period were nine to eleven days long, heavy as hell, my symptoms were awful and they made me severely iron deficient, but having a period made me confront my body.
I was always so insecure about my vagina, especially my labia, but having to get up amongst it and change tampons and wipe away clot-filled blood really forced me to not only recognise that my body does incredible things and doesn’t exist to look a certain way.
Having periods, and talking about periods, also helped me to remove shame I was feeling around myself and my body.
It took me a long time to not be embarrassed about taking a tampon to the bathroom or staining sheets and underwear (and bathers and pants…) with my blood, and that was something I had to consciously confront.
Like yeah, I’m bleeding out of my vagina and my insides feel like they’re being torn out, so why in the hell am I embarrassed about something as minuscule as being seen holding a tampon when I can handle this?
And if my body can do all of this, why am I ashamed of the excess fat I hold around my tummy?
This was only reinforced when I made my periods zero waste over a year ago now.
Yep, I’m boiling my menstrual cup on the stove of the house I live in with roommates I hardly know, and at home around my brothers.
And yep, those are my period undies drying in front of my aircon.
Reusable products force you to get up close and personal with your period, you wash your products by hand and chances are, you’re touching a bit of blood.
But this confrontation removing shame and stigma around periods is something I’ve heard other menstrators talk about quite a bit, especially around reusable products.
And that experience for me is why I miss having a period, and it’s only been about three months.
I’m on doctors orders to skip my periods, and chances are that will be an ongoing thing, which is fine, but I kind of miss my period because of what it’s done for me.
What about you, how do you feel about your period?
Let me know, I’m interested to hear from you!